Silence
Written by Eilan
"Enter through the narrow gate.
For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.
But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."
Matthew 7:13-1

You have to stay silent. Stay silent and wait until he stops. Because he will stop, eventually.

Be quiet, child. There's no one here to help you anyway.

Yes, I know it's cruel child. Yes, I know it hurts. I know all that. But please, stay silent.

It's inhuman, yes. He shouldn't do this. He has no right to hurt you like this. You're right, he has no right to do this to you.

He doesn't care.

You ask why, child. Do you really want to know?

What good will it do? Will it make him stop if you see the reason?

It won't, child.

So please stay silent.

Don’t cry. Don’t scream. Don’t beg. Don’t shout. Just stay silent. Don't you realise that he wants you to scream, that he wants you to beg for your life? That he revels in it?

Yes, you realise it. Because he laughs at you. Because he tells you what to do to stop him.

What will you do, child? Will you stay silent and wait until you find peace? Or will you beg and never find it?

I can't take this decision from you, I'm afraid. You'll have to choose for yourself.

What do you prefer, death or something worse?

Don't look at me like that, child. Don't silently beg me to do something. I can't. Because I made this decision for myself once. Because I chose the wrong path.

You ask how anything can be worse than the pain, worse than death. You're still young, child, of course you don't know. But I do. Trust me.

You think it's not fair that you have to choose. Since when is life fair? Where did you get this impression?

Yes, it's easy for me to tell you what to choose. I'm not lying on the ground, screaming in pain.

But I did, child.

And I begged.

Don't do this, child. Please, stay silent and wait for the end.

You think you don't deserve this and you're right. You're innocent. You made no mistake. The only mistake is your heritage.

You don't know this and you wouldn't understand if you knew. You're too young to understand.

If there's any justice in this world and God exists you'll go to Heaven. There you'll feel no pain, child. So stay silent and wait, it will all get better.

No, I'm not sure of that. Nobody is. But trust me, child.

He asks you to choose.

Oh, how I want to help you. How I want to raise my wand and save you. But I don't. Because in the end, we're all just cowards and care for nothing but ourselves.

I said life isn't fair.

You hesitate. Why, child? You don't want to become like me. Lifeless, soulless, hopeless.

You cry. Stop crying. You're doing the right thing. He isn't. It's not your fault.

You raise your head. You stopped crying. Very good, child. Leave this world with some dignity.

I haven't prayed in years. I start now. You would ask why, since I've seen so many of your kind and never started praying.

But in the end they've all given in.

Please don't.

You look up, your eyes staring emptily into nothing.

And you give in to them. I can't hear what you're saying and I don't want to hear it, but your torturer seems content.

You continue to stare. What do you see now, child? Do you see your family slowly dying a painful death? Do you see yourself powerful, controlling others? Or do you just see yourself surviving, like I do?

You are not weak, I don't condemn you. You are so young, so innocent, you shouldn't be forced to make that decision.

Your screams start once again. The marking hurts, I remember that.

But what hurts most is the marking of your soul, when you slowly really give in to them. You think you'll just pretend to belong to us, don't you? Let me tell you something, child; soon you will give up, just like I did. You will do anything he says and won't even think about it. Won't think about the victims and their families. There is no such thing as pretence here. Your soul will adjust to what you do and it will mark you.

I don't condemn you, child. How could I condemn you for doing the same thing I did?

"He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you."
Jenseits von Gut und Böse (Friedrich Nietzsche)
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